Happy Trekker: Pelabuhan Ratu

CT and I finally got connected with Java Lava - a very successful Jakarta-based trekking club catering to both expats and Indonesians.  Their trips are low-key, inexpensive, and coordinated by volunteers. Each month they organize a weekend trekking trip somewhere in Indonesia.
Usually it is up a volcano, thus the "Lava" component of the name. The "Java" comes from the fact that Jakarta is on the island of Java, in case you were not aware.

This month, the trip was a two-day beach and hill walk in the Pelabuhan Ratu area, with the overnight in a pleasant but basic beachside bungalow "resort".

I can not begin to describe how good it felt to get out and spend my weekend active in the outdoors again.  I miss this so much.  I felt so rejuvenated after hiking for hours two days in a row, in the company of many like-minded, fun, kind, and interesting people from around the globe.  It was also a real pleasure to get to explore another very un-Jakarta-like corner of my host country. I will definitely be doing more Java Lava trips in the future.

Me enjoying fresh young coconut juice and a new fruit! Say hello to the soft spiky red rambutan.

Bundles of fresh latex. Super stinky!

Rubber tree dripping latex into a coconut bowl

The New Roommate

Today I was rather disgusted to find this creepy little translucent lizard thing scurrying around my floor.  I was able to grab my cellphone and snap a quick pic before he finished scampering up my kitchen cabinets and disappearing in a crevice behind my stove.

I hope he re-emerges later tonight and eats some of the ants that have also recently moved in.

Please don't crawl over or nibble on any of my food.

Kota / Batavia Cafe / Taman Fatahillah

Thanks to the gawd-awful traffic, I generally avoid going anywhere in Jakarta except my residential complex, office complex, and the shopping complex in between, all walkable.

I would be hard pressed to identify where I live on a map.  Or to name or point out any key landmarks or neighborhoods of this city.  As far as I can tell, there's little reason to be able to do so. Whenever I ask people where I should go or what I should do here, they rarely offer me anything other than a list of shopping malls.

My 908-page Indonesia Lonely Planet has only about 3.5 pages of sights in Jakarta. This is limited to a town square, another town square, a former governor's home, an old bridge, 6 museums, a church, a port, a Chinese neighborhood, a temple, the national monument, a cemetery, a mosque, some government buildings, and a mini Indonesia theme park.  I haven't been in any great rush to tick these things off the ol' list.

That said, this is all extremely uncharacteristic of me, and so despite my genuine lack of interest and motivation in this particular case, I do tend to feel guilty and obliged to venture out and explore this ugly and uninviting city a bit more when I have free weekends.

Consequently, this past weekend CT and I traipsed over to the Kota neighborhod, which was once the "hub of Dutch Colonial Indonesia".   There we had brunch at historic colonial Batavia Cafe, moderately famous despite its mediocre food.  Afterward we meandered about the weekend market in the central cobblestone square (the first mentioned above), Taman Fatahillah.  Despite the fact that we spent over 3 hours in a taxi roundtrip to make this journey, it ended up being a fun little excursion.

Busy day at the market

You could find everything from Spongebob....

to colorful rental bikes...

to carnival style games....

.... to switchblades, ninja throwing stars, and brass knuckles.
(Just a teensy bit unnerving.)

I'm not sure why exactly, but adolescent Indonesian girls are
obsessed with asking bules if they can take their photos with us.
This is usually a drawn-out event, as each wants a shot with
her own cellcam, sometimes with several unique poses.
This time I added mine to the mix.

Another group opted to conduct a very official-seeming
interview with CT after the photo shoot

From the window of the cafe I watched the guy with the green
bicycle cart tediously grill dozens of thin banana leaf packets.
I became extremely curious what was inside of them and also
felt bad that during the entire time I watched not one
person made a purchase.  So I vowed to buy one and try it
after brunch.

A close-up of the mystery snack being prepared. Will it be
fruit, vegetable, or possibly (please no) meat?

Google Translator was no help in identifying this substance.
Utak Utak apparently means "tooling tooling".

Purchased and ready to be eaten.... Can't wait.

Digging in!
In reality I took only one tiny cautious nibble.
What looked like banana ended up being an extremely tough
meat-like substance that was very difficult to chew.
Not really my cup of tea.

SHIT!
It later occurred to me that "utak utak" might actually be "otak otak".
Brains?!?
What kind of brains did I consume?
And how the hell can that be safe considering each packet
was only grilled for a little more than a few seconds on each side.

Fish Brains...
 according to Wikipedia.
Actually, given my location, probably just fish paste.
Phew.
Only fish paste.

How bad can that be?

All in all, a fairly successful outing.  

And one key Jakarta destination checked off my list.

Worse than eHarmony

My apartment complex has a small gym that is almost always completely empty.  It's the perfect place to do yoga, with a small wooden studio floor, wall of mirrors, tons of natural light, and views of lush greenery outside.  I love it.

Most of the time if anyone comes in it is to watch the television rather than actually exercise, so I nip that in the bud by commandeering the only remote before I take over the entire front wall.

See the pic below.. isn't it lovely?

The other day, however, my zen was interrupted by an alarmingly attractive western-looking guy about my age who came in to actually work up a sweat.  I did my best to (pretend to) completely disregard his presence while I finished my routine, however it became obvious we were both keeping tabs on each other.  This was inspiring since it's rare that western men here pay me any attention. They usually have either come with a wife and/or are completely consumed with their Indonesian girlfriend(s).  It's quite an, uh, interesting expat culture in that regard.

Anyway, as I was rolling up my mat we struck up a conversation, exchanged vital facts, and decided to meet up again at a later date in normal clothes.  Normally I avoid socialization at the gym at all costs.  I similarly avoid socialization with excessively attractive men, because as we all know ladies, they can be trouble.  
Desperate times call for desperate measures, however.

Luckily I did not have to wait too long before our next encounter.  Because it would have really sucked if I'd wasted any more energy fantasizing about future vacations with
THE ONLY PERSON ON THIS PLANET I PROBABLY HAVE LESS IN COMMON WITH THAN PARIS HILTON.

It turns out this guy is really, really, into:

• talking about his wealth and how much he spends on things and why his life is superior to those around him in so many ways, 
• flying around the world to exclusive clubs to party, 
• name-dropping
• .... and that's about it.  

It was a painful dialogue.  Aside from the initial attraction, which seemed to take little time to fade,  there was zero connection.

On the bright side, since he's so often out of town for his important business trips and clubbing jaunts, it's unlikely he'll be interrupting my private yoga sessions again anytime soon.

All mine.

More Elevator Fun

The elevators in my apartment building are nothing like the elevators in my office building that I described a few posts earlier.

These could not possibly get any worse.  There is no ventilation or air conditioning, they smell like garbage and diaper rash cream (thanks to the "air freshener" dispenser), they travel at a speed of approximately one floor per minute, and at least one of the three of them is usually out of service.  Nearly 40 floors, at least 10 units per floor, and only two elevators.   I HATE these elevators.  And I can't take the stairs because they always have the damn doors locked.  

Today my elevator ride was enhanced by the sudden onset of fear of plunging 30 stories to my death.  

By the time the elevator arrived at my floor it was so full I could barely get on.  We continued down a few more floors and then four more people squeezed in.  

I wondered if I could hold my breath all the way to the bottom.  

The doors slowly closed.  

And then the word "Overload" appeared and began to flash vigorously. 

Now I don't know about you, but if I were an elevator designer who wanted to incorporate a flashing "overload" signal, I might just possibly design it so that the light comes on in time to be useful.  

Like, perhaps, before the door closes and the elevator begins its unbearably slow descent to the bottom level.  

In fact, I probably wouldn't allow the door to close and the elevator to move until someone shuffled their fat ass back off of it. 

Just a thought. 

Luckily, I survived.

Good to know.

Eat This: Chicken Feet

Translating this sign into English was unnecessary.
Know your target market.

Today's Excitement: Elevator Outage

Have I ever mentioned that my office is on the 45th floor?  It is.  The views are impressive.  And so, actually, are the elevators.

You swipe your badge to get into a secure set of elevators, and then instead of pressing an "up" or "down" button, you type in the floor you want to go to.  Then the electronic display tells you which elevator door to stand in front of.   When the door opens and you get on, you do nothing; the elevator is already programmed to take you where you need to go.  There are only door open and close buttons inside, no floor buttons. Each elevator ride only serves a max of about 5 floors, all closely related.  So I'll never stop at floor 3, 16, or 37 on my express ride to the 40's.  It's great.

Today, however, the power went out right about the time I was packing up to leave.  A few minutes later some back-up lighting came on, so I wasn't overly concerned.
I summoned the elevator.
Instead of assigning me a door, it said "not available".   I have never lived or worked in towers as high as I do here, so it never occurred to me what might happen when the power goes out and the elevators stop working.
You walk.

And so I did.  Down all 40-some flights to the bottom.  Where I was greeted by a locked door.
Awesome.
Luckily, however, a guard opened the door from the other side the second I started pounding on it.
Crisis averted.  Calf workout complete.

This was the standout moment of my day.
How awesome is that.

Durian: Smells like hell, Tastes like hell too

Anyone who's spent even just a brief amount of time in Southeast Asia has probably heard of durian.  There are frequently signs banning it in hotels and other well-maintained public places.

It is a fruit known for its ungodly stench.  It supposedly, however, tastes delightful.  It even has its own well known slogan. "Durian: Smells like hell, Tastes like heaven."

I beg to differ.

Obviously I knew at some point I had to try it.  You can't just let these potential new experiences slip by.  I have new years resolutions to maintain!

(Un)Happily, the Chinese New Year celebration brought a temporary tent city of food vendors just outside my building.  And one of them sold durian.  My moment had arrived.

Don't let anyone fool you, people.
Durian is one of the most disgusting things I have ever eaten.
It's like pudding with a skim on it, slightly sweet, slightly onion-y or garlic-y, and the smell makes you want to vomit.

I forced myself to eat five bites so the experience fully counted.  And now that's it.
I'm done with durian.

The aroma beckons....

Is it possibly true?
Could this wretchedly pungent fruit actually taste good?

Nope.
100% Disgusting.

Results of Operation Friend An Indonesian

Oddly enough, in the office right next to ours, there was an Indonesian guy who had spent 6 years living in the exact suburb my company is located in back home in the States.  How random is that?  He was always very friendly and suggested we go out to lunch sometime but I always had stuff going on.  Over the holiday he moved his business out of our building into another location, but still stopped back from time to time.  This was fortunate for me, since I had made it one of my New Year's Resolutions to make some Indonesian friends.

CT and my boss told me they didn't think this guy should actually count toward my resolution, which I'd shared with them, since he wasn't exactly a typical Indonesian.  At 28, he'd spent well over half his adult life in the States, and then a year in China where he started up his own IT company.  He'd just moved back to Jakarta less than a year ago for the first time since he was in high school.  Baby steps, I say.  I can't exactly bff someone who grew up in a remote village and doesn't speak a word of English.  My job never provided or allowed time for language lessons, for cripes sakes.

Finally we were able to coordinate lunch one day he was back in our building.  Even though I deeply fear and loathe it, I insisted on Indonesian food to make the experience more authentic.  He was a great sport and ordered all kinds of things he thought I should try, so our table was literally overflowing with Indonesian delights.  None of which I found terribly delightful, but it was still appreciated.  I was hoping he'd be able to enlighten me as to all the amazing hidden things Jakarta has to offer to keep one stimulated during the evenings and weekends, but he admitted he was still trying to figure that out himself.  So we mostly ended up talking about where he lived in the States and his year in China.  I wouldn't share that detail with CT or my boss.

When pressed about what to do here, he made a variety of recommendations of clubs, shopping malls and VIP movie theaters. Unfortunately, I happen to think these are some of the worst possible ways one can spend a weekend.   I can't really blame him, however, since as far as I can tell those do seem to be among the most popular and desirable of Jakarta's offerings.  But it does dampen my motivation to do anything other than trudge between my apartment, office, gym, and - on the weekend- the airport.

All the same, it did feel good to make an effort to expand my social network here.  It wasn't exactly like finding a new biking, kayaking, climbing, etc buddy, but it never hurts to have another person to grab lunch with occasionally.  Just hopefully next time it won't be an Indonesian lunch.

I'm really trying here, people.

Umbrella Ojeks

I wrote this first on Facebook, and received many thoughtful responses:

Interested in your thoughts. Indonesia has a long rainy season, and we are now in the peak off it. During downpours, out come flocks of "umbrella ojeks" (umbrella taxis) - poor children, often shockingly young, who hold their umbrella over your head as you walk to your destination, in return for some money. This occurs even well after dark, and they're usually soaked to the bone, and with no guardians in sight. Yesterday I forgot my umbrella and for the first time welcomed the flock of kids that ran toward me, choosing the lone young girl of the group to accompany me the 2 drenched blocks to my apartment building. I've heard people commonly pay 2-3,000 rp for this service, but I gave her 60,000 rp (~7USD), since that's what I had handy, and since I hoped she'd then go home to a safer, dryer place. What do you think about this? Exploitation or contribution? Worsening a problem or preventing bigger problems? Would you hire an umbrella ojek or avoid them?

Umbrella for Hire

Escape to Boracay

I needed a vacation after being back in Jakarta only 2 weeks since my previous vacation.

Thanks goodness for the Chinese New Year!
Nothing makes me happy like a 4 day weekend.

CT and I decided to head to the Philippines since neither of us had ever been there, flights were a reasonable price and distance, and it wasn't the full on rainy season there.  Our usual deciding factors.

According to my Lonely Planet, the Philippines has everything that could make a stellar vacation.  Stunning trekking through mountains and rice terraces in the north (which have gained fame as an unofficial "8th world wonder"),  gorgeous world-class white sand beaches, surfing, white water, mountain biking, interesting little towns, remote islands, kite boarding,  and on and on and on.  Unfortunately it is all incredibly spread out and you'd be much better served by 4 weeks rather than 4 days.

We took a red-eye into Manila, and were hoping to head straight to Mt. Pinatubo to do that as a day trip before heading back to the Manila airport that night for the quick jaunt to Boracay.  Unfortunately we learned the day before that the gates to Mt Pinatubo close at 8AM and we would not have time to arrive by then.  Dumb rule if you ask me.  So, we killed a day in Manila.  It has a horrible reputation, but compared to Jakarta it seemed downright lovely.

In the morning we went to the Salcedo Community Market in Makati, which aside from animals on spits, was excellent.  Eating is apparently quite the pastime in the Philippines, so we figured it appropriate to start off our trip with a focus on food. As far as I can tell, food in the Philippines is known for two main things - being very heavy with meat, and being loaded with sugar.  Even things that really should not be sweet.  There is apparently a good reason you don't find many philippine restaurants elsewhere in the world.  (No offense to my friends from the Philippines! : )

I could not eat meat that looks like it has been tortured.
I do not understand the appeal of this.

In the afternoon we explored historic Intramuros by horse and buggy.

We were feeling pretty lazy after forgoing sleep in favor
of an inexpensive red-eye flight.

A trademark jeepney.  Not as colorful as apparently once was the norm.

The rest of the time was spent in Boracay.

To be honest, I was expecting to be a bit disappointed in Boracay, fearing it might be overhyped like Phuket.  It was nothing like Phuket.  This place is fantastic!

The island is only about 1 km in width, but considerably more in length.  So you can easily walk back and forth between the famous White Beach on one side and the kiteboarder haven of Bulabog Beach on the other. White Beach is stunningly beautiful, and is lined with a pedestrian path of shops and beachfront bars and restaurants. Bulabog is not as beautiful since there is a lot of vegetation, however it is a kiteboarding and windsurfing mecca, so nobody cares. The entire beach is filled with kites.  I took 2 days of lessons and absolutely loved it! Can't wait to try it again.

If you can get a few weeks off, go to the Philippines.  Definitely one of my favorites so far.

Of all the various 3-wheeled modes of transit you find in
Southeast Asia, my favorite so far is the Philippines tricycle.
These come in both motor- and pedal-powered versions.

Bulabog Beach on the first cloudy evening. The rest of the time it was gorgeous,
but I was too busy learning how to kiteboard to take any pics.

These are the largest shrimp I have ever seen.

As part of my "try as many new things as possible each week" campaign,
I sampled cheese and avocado ice cream. Not a fan.

Ah, paradise.

Chicken intestines, anyone?

Beachfront evening

Life is rough

This might be the bluest, clearest water yet!

I watched these two people cover every exposed inch of skin in sand and
then roll around and play dead for about an hour.
There were a million beach chairs about five feet away.
Sometimes I don't get people.

The sky as seen from my lounge chair.

Even the airport has a nice view.  Bye-bye for now Boracay.